8.03.2015

How to build your perfect planner system? Week 9: What roles you have?

After the monthly plan we are back on the topic: what are we doing and why? We do things, but really are those things what are supposed to be? This week I will ask to answer the next questions: what roles you have? What are you doing? Do you like it? Is it important? We tend to want too much, what leads to overwhelming, feeling guilt, being tired, and not doing what is really important for us - like playing with our kids or spend enough time with our husband. 
For all people is meaningful to thinking about this question, but an ADD person, like me it's extra, because... I WANT IT ALL AND I WANT IT NOW!


I think this step will be the hardest in the series. Be honest with yourself, and take your time to make this exercise! (If you don't want to go so deep in your soul, skip this week, and let's see you next week again!)

Step 1: What are your roles?

Take a piece of paper, big enough, preferable with grids. Start to thinking about, what roles you have in your life? List them, keeping place between it. I think now bigger things, like: mother, working women, friend, evolving personality... Don't forget the not profitable but pleasurable things too (like the phone player, the knitter).
When you finished the big categories, comes the funny part, to find good working word to the subroles. As a mother I'm chauffeur, cook, listener, organizer, teacher, etc. Give a label for all activities you make. Looking into your archive and to do lists might help!

Step 2: Analyze your roles

Now comes the harder part, the decision.
Write somewhere with numbers the next questions:
1. Meets this with my values?
2. Do I like to do this?
3. Am I good in this?
4. Delegetable?
Write 1-4 as a header of a table to the roles. Think about all subroles. Like: cook: I'm good on it, I'm not happy to do it, delegatable, and absolutely meets my values: healthy food is important for us.
Where 1-2-3 got a check mark, you have to keep them. Mark them somehow, maybe with highlighter. Let's take a look on the others.
1. Don't meet with your values - then why are you doing this? Delete.
2. You don't like it. Two options here: have you opportunity outsource it? Hire a cleaning lady? Make cleaning together with the family? Order lunch? Make a "business" with someone: I do it for you, you do that for me? Try to find a solution to delegate this "role". Or a part of it. Not only other persons can help. You can buy a vacuum robot also if you hate vacuum. Be creative! Unfortunately there are some things what you can do and nobody else. You don't like it? C'est la vie. Life is hard :D Learn to live with them.
3. Your are not good in this. Try to delegate also if it is possible. As knitwear designer I have so much roles, where I'm not good... Keep track of things, marketing, administration. I was searching until now someone to delegate these things. It looks like, I found someone! I will have more time to make creative work - what my strength is.
You can share things with others, even if you like it, to spare time. My little daughter and her best friend are going to a gym. One week brings her mother both kids, on the other week I bring them.

Homework for next week

Do this exercise. Find enough time without any distractions. See what roles are good for you, meeting with your values, makes you pleasure, or inevitable. Keep them and try a solution all the other ones.
I plan to make this first alone, then discussing with my husband. I'm so excited! Keep for the next week by hand, when we will working on our goals.

If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask in comment! Share your experiments in our Facebook group, and get more help!  

Find here the whole series.

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